


Like love we seldom keep

by summerstorm



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Comfort, Episode Tag, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-28 03:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short scene set in an AU version of the series two finale, sometime after Lavinia sees Mary and Matthew together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like love we seldom keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Irmelin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irmelin/gifts).



"He doesn't love me," Lavinia said, quite abruptly, as though prompted by something Edith wasn't privy to. From force of habit, Edith immediately wanted to deny it; Matthew was going to marry Lavinia, after all. He must feel something in order to want to dedicate his life to her. Lavinia, however, sounded so sure Edith couldn't quite bring herself to force a smile and say, 'Of course he does; why would you say that?' She'd wanted Matthew once, besides, and knew first-hand what it was like to watch the man you wanted have eyes for her sister Mary and Mary alone.

Edith did force a smile all the same, and Lavinia shook her head. "No, no, it's all right. I knew this already. I think I knew even when he proposed. He was never quite there." There were no tears in her eyes, but they were bright with surprise—at herself, perhaps, for having confessed to such a thing in Edith's company. Edith couldn't remember a single conversation they'd had before, beyond the usual talk about the weather, the house—just pleasantries.

"Well, I'm sure he could learn to be," Edith tried. She never knew quite how to handle these situations; her experience with the soldiers had made her feel like she wasn't so bad at it as she thought, but here, faced with a woman she barely knew who was having a bout of introspection, Edith felt out of her depth as ever.

Lavinia looked up from her hands, and Edith realised she'd drifted closer on the settee, quite enough to lay a hand on Lavinia's shoulder. She did so hesitantly, not sure whether it would be welcome, but the corner of Lavinia's mouth curled up into a soft, half smile. Edith squeezed her arm.

"I only wonder," Lavinia began; it was the same resigned, melancholy tone as before, but the edge of sadness seemed to have faded. Her voice didn't crack. "I only wonder if I want that from him. If I want him to love me, knowing I never was his first choice."

Edith took a deep breath, and looked beyond Lavinia, at some bookshelf or another. She couldn't make out any titles from so far away. "I suppose you can only be sure of whom you love. Never of whether they love you back."

"That's quite a sad outlook on life," Lavinia said, brushing a hand over Edith's knee. It helped Edith snap back to reality; Lavinia's fingers were warm through Edith's clothing, and comforting. Edith bit her lip, and met Lavinia's eyes. "Do you know who you love?" Lavinia said, quiet and soft, as though it wasn't a question to be answered, but rather to be pondered in silence.

"There isn't anyone," Edith replied regardless, "so I don't, I suppose."

"I don't either," Lavinia said, and leaned in, pressing her lips against Edith's.

For a second, Edith was too stunned to react; this went far beyond a simple reassuring hand, and Edith couldn't pretend otherwise. But Lavinia's lips were soft, swollen from nervous biting, and it was easy to part her own, breathe in the same air before tilting her head to let Lavinia really kiss her. A sweet, warm feeling rose in Edith's belly, a sort of excitement, and she let the hand on Lavinia's shoulder move higher, cradle Lavinia's jaw.

It wasn't long before they heard steps and they both pulled away, Lavinia's hand still pressing close to Edith's thigh on the seat. Mrs Hughes apologised for interrupting them, and Lavinia took it upon herself to dismiss such concerns as quite unfounded, really.

When Mrs Hughes left the library, Lavinia turned to Edith again. "Thank you," she said, and the look in her face showed a certain delighted surprise—as if she had not expected Edith would be nice to her. Edith could take offense to these things, but in this moment she could only draw pleasure.

"Whatever for?" Edith asked easily.

Lavinia gave her a smile before rising to her feet. "I'll see you in the morning," she said, and Edith nodded once, and forwent mentioning that she was now looking forward to it.


End file.
